Say YES to everything! (Or maybe not…)

Before studying abroad, I heard the same advice over and over from peers and advisors: "Say YES to everything! Experience everything you can!”

And yes, studying abroad is an incredible, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It has been one of the most enriching and transformative experiences of my life. But the idea that you have to say "yes" to everything is completely unsustainable.

The pressure to do everything, see everything, and maximize every second of your semester or year abroad can quickly become overwhelming. While I have said "yes" to experiences that have deeply enriched my time here—swimming in the Blue Lagoon in Malta, walking through the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona, exploring a crypt filled with skeletons in Rome, volunteering at a local school in Siena, submitting my writing to a literary competition—I have also learned the importance of saying "no."

I said "no" to a weekend trip to Morocco because, financially, it wasn’t feasible for me. I have said "no" to going out multiple times in recent weeks because I’ve felt run down and needed rest. And you know what? That’s okay. You are still human, even while abroad. The same self-care you prioritize at home is just as valid here.

There’s an expectation that these months abroad should be the most action-packed, exhilarating, and unforgettable of your life. But what I’ve come to realize is that, for me, this time has been about something different: slowing down.

At my home institution, Bates College, my days are a whirlwind of responsibilities—six to eight hours of studying in the library, club meetings, work commitments, and squeezing in the gym whenever I can. There’s hardly a moment to just exist. Here, my course load is lighter. My commitments are fewer. My schedule is open in a way it never is back home. And for the first time in a long time, I’ve given myself permission to simply breathe.

My study abroad experience hasn’t been about constantly chasing adventure. It has been about balance. About resting when I need to rest. About exploring at my own pace. About choosing experiences that excite me, rather than forcing myself into ones I feel obligated to have.

This won’t be everyone’s experience, but I know I’m not alone. Some of you might feel the same way—that life in the U.S. is relentlessly fast-paced, that you’re always moving, always working, always pushing yourself to do more. If that’s the case, I want you to know that it’s okay to take this time to slow down. It’s okay to say "no." It’s okay to prioritize your own well-being. Studying abroad is about experiencing a new culture, yes—but it’s also about experiencing yourself in a new way. 

For me, this experience has been about learning to take it easy, to let go of guilt when I choose to rest, to resist the pressure of FOMO, and to stop pushing myself so hard—both socially and academically. Before you go abroad, take a moment to reflect: What do you want to learn about yourself? How can you take care of yourself by finding the right balance between saying "yes" and knowing when to say "no"? The answer will be different for everyone, but giving yourself that space to reflect can make all the difference in shaping your time abroad. 

Just remember: study abroad isn’t a sprint—there isn't some invisible finish line that we're all racing toward, and everyone is going at their own pace.