What your mode of transportation says about you, plus Hogwarts

There are so many ways to get around here - usually if one doesn’t work out, you can try another. I’ve found that my go-to’s are the bus or if I’m feeling fancy, a cab. I feel like there are some types that use these different means of transportation and I am here to educate the audience should they ever come to Buenos Aires. Honestly, it’s pretty hard to generalize it, so my claims are only based on what I’ve seen. What I’m saying is, don’t take it to heart if I slam skateboarding and that’s the only way you get around, Chad with the mullet. I thought it might be best to choose four and then align them with Hogwarts Houses for a wider understanding of urban discourses surrounding transportation. I’m mostly kidding, I just think it’s fun. But wouldn’t that be an incredible research paper?

The Bus

A classic. Probably the best way to get around any big city, but here it’s with a twist. You never really know when your bus is coming. After a while you get a sense of how often they come, but that’s as much info as you’re gonna get. Google Maps says the 75 is coming in seven minutes so tell me why I wrote a two page essay while waiting at the bus stop. Yes, I was turning in the essay two days late. Either way, this volatility really brings out the adventure spirits in Buenos Aires. My favorite types of bus riders are: post boliche stragglers, babies, and sleepy people. If you’re on the bus early Saturday or Sunday morning you are bound to be joined by a few people who just left the club, ears ringing as they search desperately for breakfast and a tall glass of water. Babies are an obvious bus type, because there are babies everywhere and they have to go places, but they have such a wonderful fascination with everything. Babies look at you and don’t care if it’s for too long. Sleepy people are similar to babies in that they are just doing what they have to do - it’s kind of endearing to see old people snoozing past their stops. The bus is full of people who have different lives but the one thing they have in common is they take the 101 every day. A community in and of itself. This is Gryffindor: not for the faint of heart, honest and independent.

The Subte

A little more rogue in vibes but a little less chaotic than the buses, the Subte is your favorite underground transportation (other than mole tunnels that is). Subte people are a little more sly than bus riders because they are able to escape the traffic patterns and whisk subtly under the city in the blink of an eye. But watch out, because subte riders are not afraid to step on your toes and shove their armpits in your face to fit on at each stop. The cars can get so crowded, especially during rush hour, that you will have to push some people over to get off on time. One time I saw a man with a very long ponytail get it caught in the doors after he packed on at the last moment. He rode like that very calmly until the next stop, as one would if their entire scalp was in peril. So the Subte riders are probably on the wild side but have a more cunning energy. This is Slytherin - sly, ambitious, not afraid to go far to get what they want. 

Cabs/cars

Here we have the cab and car riders. If you have a car in Buenos Aires, you have to be a really good driver to get around the buses without being absolutely sidelined. Parking seems like a nightmare too, but ultimately riding in a car is a smooth and reliable experience. If you have a car you probably get places more on time than if you take the bus, and you don’t have to talk to anyone, but you still have to wait through all the traffic. Taking a cab is a whole different game, because then you don’t have to worry about parking but you’re not in control of the vehicle and it’s probably much more expensive. So cab riders and car drivers are versatile and intelligent beings who know what they want and Are Going To Get It, at the cost of buying a car or forking it over to the cabify driver who now has asked for your instagram. I can’t give it to you, you say, because I just deleted it the other day. And so I have decided these transportation-takers are Ravenclaw. They are driven and logical and like to stay within the lines but in a smart way. 

Bikes/Motorcycles/Rollerskates/Skateboarders

A large category, yes, but these free-spirited individuals share a creativity that other modes of transportation just don’t have. These modes of transportation are much more affordable than owning a car and also can zip efficiently around the city, sometimes off the beaten path. Skateboarders and rollerskaters are always a little flower-child, rebel-ish types, and I can say with confidence that the common skater boy DOES exist in Argentina. There’s another type that’s like a more streamlined skater boy that rides one of the remote controlled electric ones. Not as authentic, but along the same vein. These people are dreamy, exciting and can’t be put in a box. So that’s why they’re Hufflepuff, and you can’t tell me any different. The bikers will not notice you if you step into the bike lane because they’re too busy smelling the jacaranda flowers. 

So you're welcome, because now you know if you ever come to Buenos Aires where your loyalty can lie. I wish I was a Hufflepuff, but unfortunately I am Gryffindor.