5 Places to Break Up in Madrid

Hola, chicos, chicas, and my gender non-conformers!

Let's talk about dating. Admittedly, I’ve gone on very little dates while abroad, but there’s a whole city full of fun, eligible, and good-looking people out there for the rest of you gorgeous travelers. You got one?  Good!  Now you’re not feeling it anymore...that’s where this article comes in.  I’m here to talk to y’all about a very specific moment in the lifecycle of a relationship—the breakup. I know, womp womp, but hear me out.  We have all become too familiar with breakups over text or straight up ghosting, and while the latter may be necessary in certain circumstances, I think we all know that the old-fashioned, face-to-face “thank u, next” is the way to go.  So, in my humble single-status opinion, here are the top five places to break up with una pareja in Madrid.

Madrid Rio Riverwalk  

The area of the riverwalk between the Palacio Real and the A-42 highway is perfect to take a long walk or go for a run, but you know what it’s also good for…ding ding ding!  There are a ton of different cafes along the sides if you’d like to go for the casual over-coffee breakup, so just pick one and lay it on ‘em.  If you’re in the mood for something, say, a bit more poetic, there are also several bridges you can use as your spot. Cross from one side of the lovely Madrid Rio to the other with your future ex over the historic Puente de Toledo just as you two are about to cross to another side of your relationship.  Or if you’re into a more modern, architectural style, keep on walking until you get to the Pasarela de la Arganzuela.  The ultramodern spiral design of this footbridge might perfectly mimic the sensation of the other person realizing that the relationship in which they’ve invested time, money, and season tickets to the theatre is going down the drain.  Oh! I’m on a roll kids.  It’s a lovely public space that’s perfect for a walk at any time of the day, especially for you and/or your ex after you’ve laid the news on them that they’re now single and you and/or they need that walk to process their feelings. 

Estación de Atocha

Atocha is a historic and beautiful train station in Madrid that has a mini-but-lush green space inside the main entrance before you get to the trains with several restaurants around this area.  Not many people go to hang out, but if the heat is wearing you out it’s an inside space with air conditioning which can sometimes be rare here.  Of course, it also doubles as an inside public place that has a plethora of exits (even out of the city if things really go south teehee). 

Five Guys on Gran Vía

Alright don’t look at me like that—I know I’m recommending an American burger restaurant here, but it’s on the list here because of the delicious (yet pricey) burgers and Cajun fries.  Like with the previous spots, it’s all about location, and this particular Five Guys has the perfect setup.  There are two stories of seating to choose from, but if you want to make your breakup as public as it can be for some reason, I would direct you to the bar seating that faces the Gran Vía on the first level.  The entire wall is glass so the patrons in the restaurant and the pedestrians on the street have a full view of what’s about to go down.  Also, did I mention they have Cajun fries?

La Mallorquina Pasteleria

Whether you have to end a relationship or not, you need to go to this Puerta del Sol bakery.  The neopolitanas are fire, the palmeras are perfectly flaky, and I think a sweet helps to ease heartache even if it’s just a little bit.  The place is small and always packed so if you need the attention of strangers they are there, but if you are pretty sure a softer more intimate goodbye is the way to go you and your ex can blend into the crowd.  My recommendation: leave your now ex behind in the bakery so they can buy whatever quantity of pastries they need to fill the little hole in their heart.

El Colegio Mayor de Guadalupe

Last but not least, this is probably the least joke-y suggestion I have for you dear readers.  The Colegio is where we take all our IES Abroad classes, so if your future ex happens to be someone within the program, this is definitely the most convenient spot to pull them aside and break their heart.  Of course, you’d probably want to time the breakup after you’re both done with classes, but if you can fit it in before 4:30, you can pull the Mallorquina move and allow your ex (or yourself) some time to grab a treat in the cafeteria.  When emotions start to bubble up, you both will probably have friends right in the building you can go to for a hug and cry.        

And that’s it for this list!  There are sooo many other places in Madrid to end a relationship if it comes to that, but I hope you won’t need this list.  Best wishes to all you daters abroad and big love to all those single folk.  Byeeeee.