"Now What": The Sequel

They say that time flies when you're having fun, and despite the many ups and downs that I've experienced during my internship stay in Berlin, it's safe to say these two months felt like little more than two minutes. 

Part of me is excited to go back home. There are some things I miss (my car, my cat, my family, air conditioning) that I can't wait to have again once I return. They do just a little to ease the sting of leaving, because despite the relatively short time that I've spent here, Germany does feel quite a bit like home.  I remind myself that I made this sense of attachment on purpose -- my partner lives here, and one day I'd like to be with her here, too, for good -- but even so, it does not ease the pain of leaving.

My "normal" now feels worlds apart from my "normal" back in the United States. To even try to make comparisons would leave this article overwhelmingly long-winded, and wouldn't really scratch the surface of that feeling properly. When you live abroad for an extended time, your life changes and shapes itself around new routines that can be starkly different from the ones you had at home. Going back to the old routines will almost certainly feel the same as adopting the ones I had here in Germany.

I find myself now staring down the same neon orange suitcase and thinking to myself that dreaded question that preceded my departure back in May: now what?

The answer to this question, at least, is not entirely unscripted. I have spent the last couple of weeks applying to new jobs and internships for this upcoming last semester of college in my home town, so that I can continue to put what I've learned both in class and in Germany to work in a professional setting where I can be paid for my work. These next few months will be all about building upon connections, finding references, and making a bigger plan -- my life plan. That's not just intimidating; it's honestly just a little bit terrifying..

So, like I do with all terrifying things, I compartmentalize. I break down that question into manageable parts, and I tackle them one by one. And it looks a little like this:

1. Buff up my resume. It's undeniable: over the last few months, I've built up more experience in my field than I've ever had just from applying it in college. That means it's time for a resume buff. That means more than just adding it in under the "Experience" section; I've developed skills that need to be written into it as well, and my time as a Correspondent has given me even more experience to list on top of that.
2. Rebuild my portfolio. Most of what I did during my internship was writing, writing, and more writing. It's something I love doing and something I want to keep doing. And now that I've done it professionally and not just academically, that means revisiting my portfolio. The articles and interviews I've written have more than just a place with the location that I interned at; they are, after all, my work. They're a great example of all those skills I've developed put down in paper.
3. Set my goals both big and small. It's important when doing so to specify which is which. Small goals are manageable tasks that can be done within a month or so. For me, this includes registering in a German language course, securing a new job or internship for the fall, and making a savings plan. Big goals are tasks that take longer to complete, and are usually comprised of those smaller tasks at a basic level. This includes deciding on and securing a visa, graduating, and planning for my career abroad. These goals do more than just give me a to-do list: they are also invaluable in helping with that overwhelming, crushing feeling of now what? that I don't know immediately what to do with.
4. Make the contacts I need to move my life abroad. This upcoming semester will be filled with emails, phone calls, and in-person meetings with faculty and advisors at my school as well as those in my field who can help me find a way to move my career outside of the United States. When it comes to moving abroad, it truly takes a village -- not just during the process, but also after. It's always good to have a solid list of people who you can rely on for advice and direction when you're trying to move your life five thousand kilometers away from home.
5. Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork. This holds especially true as I move my life into Germany, where almost everyone I've met has had something to say about the inconvenience of the bureaucracy. The process of applying for and receiving a visa (which could include applying for further education in the country) is one paved with paper. And waiting. With these kinds of things, it's always best to be as prepared as possible ahead of time, which means I've definitely got my research cut out for me.

Now What? is a scary place to be, but it never has to be. And if there's one thing that I've learned during my travels, it's that now what? is also a place I'll never really be truly rid of, and that's okay. I've learned how to deal with it and even come to embrace it, because it is almost always in the direction of something amazing.