Halfway There

You know when you’re halfway through a really good book? You get to the point in your reading where you can’t put it down and you really want to see how it ends. You’re anxious to see how your protagonist grew. You want to see what else is in store for the characters you’ve grown close to. You need to know.

At the same time, you don’t want it to end. The thought of not having that book by your night stand to pick up whenever you have a free moment is daunting. Questions and uncertainties flood your mind. What else is there to read? Will I ever like another book as much?

You get that same feeling after studying abroad for two months. Last week, we hit the halfway point. Less than two months to go.

When I got there, I started to make lists. Lists of places I wanted to go, day trips to take, museums to see, restaurants to eat at. The endless weeks I found in the beginning of the program are dwindling down to the final few.

At the same time, there’s stuff back home. Life is school is passing by. Clubs are sending emails. Internships left to be applied for. On top of that, Thanksgiving – my favorite holiday – is approaching. If there’s anytime to miss the states, it’s now.

The rush of emotion tends to hit me at the worst moments. In class or when I’m on the tram or when I’m making dinner. This intense flush of anxiousness, homesickness and never wanting to leave comes at me like a tidal wave.

I look back at some of my journal entries and remember why I came to Amsterdam in the first place. I wanted a change and, more importantly, I wanted to have fun. Revisiting my original reason for traveling and studying abroad helped me realize what I have left to do. It’s to enjoy every last moment, because it is gone way too soon.