How to (Really) Make Long-Lasting Friendships as an Introvert Abroad

Moving abroad is an exhilarating, life-changing experience, but if you're an introvert—especially one from a diverse background like me—it can feel daunting. The thought of making new friends while navigating cultural differences, language barriers, and personal anxieties might seem overwhelming. But here's what I’ve learned from my time abroad: friendships happen naturally when you let them.

Here are the lessons I’ve picked up along the way about forming meaningful connections without draining your social battery.

1) Don’t Push It

One of the biggest mistakes I made at first was feeling like I had to make friends right away. I placed pressure on myself to find my “people” in the first few weeks. But friendships, like good coffee, need time to brew. The more you force it, the more unnatural it feels. Instead, focus on enjoying your surroundings, immersing yourself in the experience, and letting friendships form organically.

2) Feeling Unsure? Don’t.

If you’re overanalyzing whether you should reach out to someone, stop right there. The self-doubt, the “What if they don’t actually like me?” thoughts—it’s just anxiety talking. Trust your gut. If someone makes you feel comfortable, safe, or even just mildly interested in getting to know them, that’s a good enough reason to take a step forward.

3) Reach Out the Moment You Feel a Connection

The worst thing you can do is hesitate when you feel a spark of connection. If you meet someone and think, Oh, they seem cool, don’t overthink it. Send that text. Invite them to grab coffee. Comment on their Instagram story. Do something. One of the hardest parts about being an introvert abroad is initiating, but trust me, waiting too long will only make it harder.

4) Start with a Compliment and Let It Flow

As someone who isn’t naturally the best at small talk, I’ve found that compliments are the easiest way to start a conversation. “I love your jacket! Where did you get it?” is a simple, non-intimidating way to initiate. If the conversation flows, great! If it doesn’t, let it be. Not every interaction has to lead to a deep friendship, and that’s okay.

5) Try New Friend Groups, Even If It’s Uncomfortable

One of the best things you can do is say “yes” when someone invites you to hang out with their friends. Go once. Observe the vibe. See if you feel at ease. You don’t have to stick around if it doesn’t feel right, but giving it a try will help you figure out where you fit in.

Remember: You are not obligated to stay in any social circle that drains you.

6) Find Resources to Meet People

If making friends feels like an uphill battle, don’t be afraid to seek out structured ways to meet people. Facebook groups for expats, university social events, local meetups, and even staff members at your school or workplace can point you in the right direction. I found some of my closest friends just by asking people, “Hey, do you know any cool events happening soon?” It’s simple, yet effective.

Final Thoughts:

As an introvert and someone from a diverse background, making friends abroad came with its own set of challenges. Sometimes I felt like an outsider. Other times, I hesitated to reach out because I wasn’t sure if people would relate to my experiences. But here’s what I realized: true friendships come from mutual respect and understanding.

If you feel like you’re “too different” to belong, know that there are people out there who will appreciate you exactly as you are. The key is to find them—and that starts with giving yourself the chance to try.

So, fellow introverts, take a deep breath and remember: meaningful friendships take time. Allow yourself to be open, reach out when you feel the spark, and don’t let anxiety convince you that you’re alone. You’re not. You just haven’t found your people yet—and when you do, you’ll be so glad you took that first step!

Your friend,

Chi