It Actually Got Better!

I sincerely apologize for the late post y’all. It's because..I’ve been having a really good time? It feels weird to say. After so much adjusting, extremely weird news and obstacles, and navigating the dumpster fire that is the university I attend here..I’m really happy!! 

It’s that kind of calm contentment you get when you feel at peace with your situation. I no longer feel on edge or exhausted at the end of every single day. 

I know how to navigate the city, where to go to ask for help when I need it, and I’m no longer afraid to go explore on my own. That’s a big one for me. I always have been and honestly forever will be someone who enjoys my own company. I really enjoy the tranquility that comes from hanging out with myself. The comfortability of being my own friend. But for the past couple weeks, because of certain circumstances and just being in a brand new city in general, I was afraid to go anywhere other than home and school alone. I don’t know. That on edge feeling I talked about earlier really was keeping me from enjoying this beautiful city and its beautiful secrets. But not anymore! I feel comfortable going out to eat alone, getting on the TRAM and visiting nearby areas, going to the shops nearby, browsing and speaking my extremely broken French. Getting able to do the kinds of things I would do back home that brought me comfort, like being alone, has really turned things around for me. If you’ve read my last few posts, I’ve been feeling pretty meh about being here, but I think that that was just the good old Adjustment period that my program leaders talked about. If things continue this way, which they will (speaking it into existence!!), I feel like I’m really going to redeem my experience and enjoy my last 2 months here. Honestly, it just feels really good to have this new outlook and not be stuck in the cycle of negativity I’ve found myself in these past couple of weeks. 

This is an awful transition but I would genuinely like to rant a bit about this before I close off. What is it about the school system here, does anyone know??? I have never in my life been a part of such a ridiculously unorganized institution. It’s like the school opened YESTERDAY. Like I just don’t understand where the disconnect is? Can I help them in any way so they stop making me miserable?? Nah I’m kidding it’s not actually that deep. Most days it's just so, so laughable.

I guess this can be advice for y’all? Especially if you’re like me and super organized and idk…sensible…watch out for the potential destabilization that will happen when you go to a university abroad. Hopefully my experience is an isolated one and none of y’all have to go through this! Or maybe you should go through it…O.o

Cause what doesn’t kill ya makes you stronger! Sorry for being corny. Have an absolutely lovely weekend. Keep ya head up! They didn’t lie when they said it always gets better. It just takes time.